Mr. Nibs

  • Born: Oct 2021
  • Gender: Male
  • Health: Good
  • Kids: No experience
  • Dogs: It's a possibility
  • Cats: Absolutely!

Thoughts of a ferret.

Interviewer: Thanks for taking time to talk with us today Mr. Nibs. I know you’re a busy guy.

Mr. Nibs: *dragging a set of keys under the couch

Yea, I’m pretty busy but I’m happy to make time to chat.

I: Can you tell me a little about your background?

N: Sure. I was born in New York and then got connected with this human family in Houston as a really young weasel. Hey, can I borrow your chapstick for a sec?

I: Uh, ok.

N: Thanks. *drags chaptick under the couch and shouts from underneath

I liked the first family fine. But it didn’t work out. My mom got a boyfriend who became an ex boyfriend and he threatened to hurt me. It was a whole thing. She decided it would be better for me to find another family.

I: That sounds terrible. I’m sorry. You are both very brave. What kind of new family are you looking for?

N: *dragging a full bowl of water toward the living room and answering through clinched teeth

Oh, you know, the usual. People who love an active weasel. People who are not too “hoardy” with their items. I’d really like for the next family I find to be my rest-of-my-life family.

I: Not to be too intrusive, but how old are you?

N: I’m a year old. *climbing up interviewer’s leg Are you going to ask me about my hobbies? I’ll just tell you. Are you new at this? Anyhoo, I like playing with other ferrets. My foster mom says I will “roll over the top of another ferret then pop straight up in the air , start a wild war dance (look it up) and take off running while dooking smack talk” over my shoulder.

I: So ferrets do talk smack. I’ve wondered.

N: We do. But we generally get along. FFL has some experienced ferret parents (we call them farents) who can ease the new family into doing exactly the perfect introduction to a new weasel. Again, we are pretty easy to get together and we do love to play with each other. If my new family does have another weasel, they will need to be my weasel friend. That will mean we play chase, steal each other’s stuff, and I’ll need tubes to run through. We have problem solving skills on the order of human toddlers. We have the advantage of being slinky and able to go almost ANYWHERE. So “ferret-proofing” a house is no joke. I’m not proud of this, but we do have trouble with the idea of gravity—we just walk right off of stuff like landings, balconies. We also sometimes will snack on things that are terrible for us—like foam, string, ribbon…like I said, it’s not our best trait. But you need to know.

I: Anything else I should know?

N: Hmmmm…we can play well with cats and some dogs. We need super high protein, quality food (my foster farents can guide newbies) and the Taylor Swift album Midnights is chef’s kiss perfect. That’s about it.

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